What Is The Weirdest Thing Alexa Ever Heard You Say? – #TQOTD

We all know that your smart speaker, phone, smart TV, and pretty much anything else with a microphone is spying on you.  So, let’s make that fun instead of a “1984-esque” dystopia.

If Alexa could tell us the weirdest thing ever said in your house what would it be and why would did you say it?

  • “Can someone come out and hold the hawk while I shove a tube down its throat”…. – it’s what it sounds like #friendlyneighborhoodwildloferehabber #hiconnie
  • To the Beagle: Blu, quit eating your poop.
  • “We have to go to the store.” “Why?” “We have to get the new….. the new….. YOU KNOW! The window blankets!!!” – the conversation between my husband and me when my mind completely blanked on the word CURTAINS so I improvised. ????
  • To my 8-year-old with constipation “Make sure to take your poop pills tonight” When he was 3…”James, quit licking the walls”
  • “I have to finish sewing the chicken in the cat.” Long story. Not a real chicken or a real cat.
  • ‘We don’t bite our friends!’ Trying to teach the puppy not to bite and pull the dachshund by his ears.
  • I have 4 children, the possibilities are endless lol most things probably revolve around bodily functions lol
  • We don’t just pee wherever we want in this house! If I can’t pee in the kitchen either can you! #pottytrainingblows #goodluckSteve
  • Stop licking down there! -me telling my dog to stop licking my leg under the covers lol
  • To my son, when he was around 4, when I caught him eating shredded cheese out of the fridge; “we don’t put cheese in our underpants” ????
  • “What’s going on with your butt?” Me to the dog ????
  • “Sissy poops!” My 3year old loves to tell everyone what his sissy does.
  • Stop licking your feet! -said to my dog
  • To my dog!!!! Stop back talking to me and acting like you are my boss!
  • “Girls, the bathroom is not a play place!”
  • Don’t pee on the dog
  • Me yelling at my 5-year-old to stop scratching his ass. I mean with him and my 7-year-old the options are endless. Plus my dumb dog! Alexa prolly don’t listen to our Shenanigans anymore!!\
  • TQOTD: My daughter and I were working out and I couldn’t hold back my hate for the instructor so I yelled: “Thanks ya B, my ass will hurt for a week!” ???????? If Alexa didn’t know I was working out…. #lesbehonest? #heavylegday
  • Weirdest thing said in my house: “The cracking of bones will echo through the room and it will be delicious!” My daughter said this on Thanksgiving because she likes to break open poultry bones and eat the marrow.
  • #TQOTD Does urine have DNA in it? Thanks to the Netflix show You. Lol I’m a huge fan of the ID channel as well but have no intention of hurting or maiming anyone!
  • Pretty sure Alexa would be quite entertained if she tapped into my 16-year-old son’s room while playing Call of Duty. My son told me the other night that he heard something new (we have an open-door policy so he tells me everything) he said with the new Call of Duty game that right before someone dies that the game opens the mic of the player that got killed so you can hear their reaction. He said that some random guy he was playing with, and that he killed in the game said, “go take a toaster bath” right before he died. Well, that was nice…..Boys
  • “If you poop your pants, don’t put your poop underwear in your laundry basket to be washed!!” Things I say to my 6-year-old
  • Willow stop humping your sister to our dog
  • Jamie here: My 13-year-old son came out of his room and said, “I just realized bologna is hot dog pancakes??” Husband: “We should have him tested.” Bahahahahaha!
  • If Alexa could hear the things in my house She would hear my mom and dad playing balloon animals every day while I’m at work
  • Don’t lick the toilet. Or. Stop eating toilet paper.
  • “Get your hand out of your diaper!” Talking to my 20-month-old to keep her hands out of her diaper!
  • I can only imagine the things that Alexa overheard while we were playing D&D. Goblins hooking up with elves, dragons farting fire, and that Dwarf with huge boobs. #DungeonsAndDragons
  • I was watching Queer Eye on Netflix with my daughter when she said: “Why don’t gay guys get pregnant?”
  • My roommate told me the other day that “The eggs are hatching”. I was confused and asked for an explanation. He said ” They filled Beanie Babies with spider eggs. That’s what those white balls are inside them!” Apparently there was one of those stupid articles going around on Facebook saying that the old Beanie Babies were filled with spider eggs and are starting to hatch after all of these years. He full-on believed it.
  • “Mom! It’s time fo you to change my diaper!” This is me at age 22. I had a huge cyst on me but that required the bandage to be cleaned and replaced every day. If someone overheard it would sound like some weird diaper fetish.
  • “I’ve got crabs the size of baseballs.” I have a huge aquarium and I make YouTube videos about it. Alexa probably has heard all sorts of gems from those.
  • Walked in on my two kids having a very stimulating conversation “I like sausage cause it’s more meat, but I see where you’re coming from with bacon”. I kinda wish I was Alexa so I could hear my son’s point about bacon.
  • “STOP licking the dog!!”
  • TQOTD: What’s that dried up white stuff in my underwear? I said that when I was doing laundry forgetting that I had an accident. Not that kind of accident Fish! I accidentally spilled liquid Comet on my underwear that was laying on the bathroom floor when I was cleaning the bathroom a few days before.