–26-year-old Daryl Sherrick and a 28-year-old Kimberly Taulmen were busted for having sex in the women’s bathroom at an Irish pub in Clarksville, Tennessee on Saturday. Someone called the cops, and an officer told them to get dressed, leave, and find a ride home. They got dressed and left . . . but they didn’t go home. Instead, they drunkenly stumbled to a PORT-A-POTTY in the parking lot and kept getting-it-on in there. The cops watched them leave the bar and go to the port-a-potty . . . and this time they didn’t just get a warning. They were both arrested for public intoxication and indecent exposure and taken to jail, but on the way the police had to stop the car several times to stop Daryl and Kimberly who were STILL trying to get it on in the back of the car. Lets hope they weren’t put in the same cell.
–A 33-year-old guy named James Kramer bought an erotic whip for $30 from an adult store in Longmont, Colorado last week. The specific one he bought is the British Fantasy Series Metal Beaded Flogger, if you’re a connoisseur. But the whip never got to do its intended flogging duty. Because later that day, James went back to the adult store and got into an argument with the employees . . . and even tried to attack them. They’re not sure why he was so upset. But that doesn’t matter because he started WHIPPING the employees with the erotic whip he bought earlier. He wound up jamming the whip into the breaker box to try to kill their power. But he accidentally went after their neighbor’s box, so he took out the power to an O’Reilly Auto Parts instead. Now the employees didn’t enjoy the whipping, because they called the cops. He was arrested for felony menacing and misdemeanor criminal mischief and criminal tampering.