Missed Connections Podcast: Dad Bod & Vampire Sucks

M:Men for Women: The Grocery Store Vampire
I’ve really never been into the whole “goth chick” thing, but you changed my mind, congratulations. I was at the Hyvee in Fitchburg on sunday when we ran into each other, literally. You might remember me as the guy in the blue striped shirt that bumped into you. Honestly it was an accident because I was too busy staring at you to notice where I was watching. You had on that tight black shirt, that heavy choker, and you had ripped jeans and big boots. Thats not really the look I’m usually into but it was super cool when you smiled at me and I noticed that you had fangs. Are they real or fake by the way? Well if by some chance you find this, send me a pic and we can get together. I want to see how much a vampire can suck 😉
K:Women for Men: Let’s workout that Dad Body
I hope you don’t murder me LMFAO!!! I’m so kidding, but you do seem like the type of sad middle age creep who looks for girls on here. I’m not trying to be mean, because I am totally into guys like you.  Not every girls wants some chiseled macho man, I just want a comfortable guy who can take care of me. I saw you at planet fitness a few nights ago. You should remember me because we were like the only people there. I didn’t notice until later but you are very hot. You hair is receding just enough, and you have the perfect amount of gut. I could tell I liked your body because for some reason you tucked your T-Shirt into you sweatpants. That plus those velcro sneakers for sure turned me on. I bet you would like to have a fun young and energetic GF. I put a pic below, so send me one of you if your interested. B T Dubs, make sure its a pic of your face not your other body parts.