Missed Connections Podcast: I’m Sorry I Lit You On Fire

A:Men for Women: I’m sorry I lit you on fire
Honestly I hope your okay, I never meant to light your hair on fire. I’m looking for Aurora (Fake Name) whom I met on Adult Friend Finder, you probably blocked me on there and I don’t blame you. After all my sex candle lit your hair up like it had gas on it. You must have been wearing some hairspray or something because that’s the only thing I can think of.  The last time I saw you was when I dropped you off at the hospital. I know I kind of killed the mood, but we were sure having fun before that! Lets not let some small snafu get in the way of a good thing. So just email me or unblock me on AFF and we can try this again. This time I promise their will be no arson.
 
K:Women for Men: You have a spacious mouth
Okay full disclosure, I’m a total sexual freak and you have to be fine with that. I caught sight of you at Festival Food eating some free samples and it turned me on…like I said, I’m a freak. It was like a chocolate waffle or something and the way you ate it was the craziest shizzz I’ve ever seen. It honestly looked like you unhinged your jaw like a snake to shove that whole waffle in your mouth. I can’t stop picturing your bear trap of a mouth, and I kinda want to see what we can do with it. Think of the weirdest, kinkiest thing you can think of and then multiply it by five and that’s what I want to do with you. So baby lets get together and we can chomp all