K:WOMEN FOR MEN:LIKE A BIG BUTTERBALL TURKEY
Boy I wanna baste your body with all my stuff. Sorry if that sounds gross, but I need you to understand how turned on I am when I think of you. Seriously I’m going through underwear like a Victoria Secret sale. I saw you at Barriques on park I was just buying a latte then I caught sight of the buns. The man buns that is. Yours was the largest and greatest of all the man buns. Your tan and have a perfectly textured beard, not one of those baby face losers I usually date. So bring that man bun and a few friends over and lets party!
S: Men for Women: Following that whale tail
I promise I wasn’t stalking you! I just want to make that clear before I say anything else. I know a man following a women in a parking lot at night might seem pretty suspicious but I promise my intentions were perfectly innocent. You must work somewhere at Westtowne mall, and judging by that lacy thong above your jeans I am guessing Victoria’s Secret. I caught sight of that gorgeous pink whale tail as I was leaving work as well. I knew I had to ask you out and thats why I was following you through the parking lot. I am going to scour the stores at the mall to try to find you, but hopefully you’ll find this first. Its almost like Cinderella story isn’t it, like prince charming with the glass slipper, only its a hot thong.